Mario is Evil? – Written by dixee on yoyogames

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I just read this post on the yoyogames forums, written entirely by Dixee. All credit for that hilarious article goes to her. At first you think it’s just going to be some sort of joke, or a spam post, but no; it’s actually a well-thought out and VERY plausible criticism of the Mario series. The best time to tear apart the credibility of a beloved video game character is any time, eh? XD

Here’s a sample of what she wrote. Go to the thread to read the rest.

Well, it all started like this: I was looking at Mario. You know him; pretty much everyone does. Fat, short, Italian, not particularly handsome, and he's a plumber. Now, is there anything intrinsically wrong with that? No. There isn't. But Princess Peach is, after all, a Princess, and her tastes should be better than that. She's got pretty much the whole kingdom to choose from, so why Mario?

Now, let's take a look at Bowser. Does he kidnap the princess? Yeah. He does. But it's never with evil intent. He never kills, molests or even harms her in the slightest. He's just trying to stop Mario from getting to her again.

We have the Goombas and Koopa, and they don't really do anything. They just kind of walk around, not bothering anyone. But, what does Mario do? He comes through and he crushes them all!

Time and time again, Mario slaughters hundreds of creatures who aren't doing anything wrong. You'll rarely see a goomba or other such 'minion' violate an inhabitant of the Mushroom Kingdom. The only one that they consistently attack (though, defend-from is a better term) is Mario. And, why wouldn't they? He's been eradicating them like the plague.

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